Skating

Today Edward && I planned to see each other again at the Skating Rink.(: Nancy, Lubaina and Myrtle were also there with Frank's mom and the little kids. It was nice seeing Nancy and Lubaina again.(: I miss them and it's so sad they won't be coming back next year. :/ but I had a great time with them haha and again Edybear came late. That punk so Nancy called him and he said he would be there in 20 minutes but it seemed like forever!! Anyways...when he came ahh he had a boquet of flowers in his hands <3 and he gave them to me <3 they were so beautiful OMG that dork :) I never received flowers from anyone before haha and I was so happy so I came and showed it to mommy and idk but she was super mad! She said I couldn't take these flowers home :/ :/ she was being so mean urgh so Edybear ended up taking it back home. :( :( It sucks. but then afterwards, we skated together and this girl that worked there told us to pick a song and she'll play it for the both of us <3 We picked the song Love Story by Taylor Swift ahh but it was so romantic. I still cant forget that feeling <3 Everyone's eyes were on us. 120209

Why you gotta be so mean?

So sad :/ Disappointed.

I'm on Facebook & I went to check Patricia profile. Patrica's boyfriend died this summer. Even though I don't know her, I just want to see how she's doing. It looks like she's getting better day by day which makes me happy. But it's so sad how they last met, said I love you to each other and poof, he's gone. </3 I just saw her status and it made me cry on the inside. "The hardest about this trip is trying to have fun knowing you're gone. Something new happens everyday & i can't even tell you about it. I miss you Carlos :|"  That is so true. Everyday something new happens to me and I can't wait to tell Edward about it. I always told him everything on my mind. But that was the past. Now he's all busy with work and working out or basketball. I'm not important anymore. Why I wanted to cry when I read her status is because she can't tell him anything because he's gone. But my dork is still alive. He's still living in this world and yet I can't tell him.

Angel's Birthday Party

Today was Angel's Birthday Party. Edward's mommy said I could come haha so I asked Ahmad to take me to "Nancy's Birthday Party" After he picked me up, he went to pick up Ammar, then Jocelyn then we waited in the HSA High parking lot for Edward's mommy. She came like 20 min later haha I was hoping she didn't take the big truck cuz I was wearing heels and I didn't know how to get in  but luckily she took the small car lol (OMG AHMAD LET ME REVERSE IN HIS CAR) Anywhooo, hahah when I got in his mom's car she hugged me and we talked A LOT in ENGLISH! I didn't know she knew English! Hahah I felt soooo dumb cuz the whole time I was trying to talk to her in SPANISH! >.< Haha she talked a lot about Edward in the car( && it's a secwet) :P She took me to go get gas and the dollar store to get balloons and all. Then we went back to the house and some people were setting up. I went inside the house and Angel saw me and screamed JENNIFER! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?! Haha he was excited and he went to call Edward and idk me and Edy were both shy lol so we were like hiding kinda and Angel kept screaming. Then Edy finally came out and hugged me and he took me to see him room lol it was small && messy  That messybutt haha my rooms messier :P  Then we played a bit of xbox and Angel kept jumping on me and all haha && he cussed. A LOT. He kept saying OOOOHH SHITT AND FUCKER AND FAG AND BITCH. -_____- && the funny thing is that he wasn't shy around me. AT ALL! Lol but then a lot of people came and Edward didn't stay much with me and haha his momma had me making hot dogs! It's funny. I NEVER made any at home haha Then around 80 people came and they kept looking at me.Lol the house was HOT. There wasn't any AC so Edy told me to go to his room and he bought me pictures.Hahah he's sooooooooooooo adorable! He let me keep one picture.(: Someone couldn't control themselves && it wasn't me ;)Blah lol and idk there was one thing that bothered me. When we were walking pass that group of people, I held his hand but he kinda wouldn't let me. Like he pushed it away but he realized it and tried holding my hand but I pushed it away. AHH IDK :(

Skating!

So Edward told me that he's going skating today with me(:  Whenever I get to see him somewhere, I get soo excited and nervous haha even butterfies. Well I picked the clothes the night before and got everything ready. Around 10 30 we got to the dentist for an appointment to clean out teeth and I got like 6 cavities -______ urgh but I always brush bleh mommy had to get her wisdom teeth removed. It must hurt a lot. Ouch. && Around 1 we got to the Roller Rink and no one we knew were there yet. Then comes Frank, Travis and Gerald's family but no  sigh of Edybear yet. He said he might even come before two!!! Hehe I can't wait lol like the thought of him on his way excites me that I can't even concentrate on skating. Lol and he came late and he called me and idk he sounded kinda cranky. I don't know. But around 3 he finally found the place and haha so I got back to skating with Jenny and then she said tall person and I knew he had came and when I saw him I fell hahah I was soo excited :D Like you don't know how happy I was . AHHHHHH! <33333 Then he said he's not skating so I got sad a bit because I was looking forward to that. But anywho he eventually did.(: && we skated lol then this little black girl keeps falling on purpose so that he would pick her up. I think she likes him lol ^____^ hahah but I caught her. Lmaaaaao then we just continued skating and the punk won't request the boyfriend song for me . It would be so romantic if he did <3 But anywho haha we skated I fell so many times but I like it because everytime I fell he would reach out his hand and pull me up and I get to hold his hand for a bit hehe it was AWESOME with the music and everything. Angel was super shy of me. But that's going to change soon I hope lol and then around 4 it was time to go :/ I was a bit sad but I was happy because he's going to come back next Thursday soo YAY! && P.S He gave me Angel's invitation hahah he looks soooo cute! <3333

Afterwards, we went home and I was texting Edward like around 4 30ish and I knew he was doing something because his replies were " i know he's doing something." Lol but I don't mind. Then mommy came in and we had like this one hour talk hahah time passes by fast. In this world I guess I can say you don't need your friends. They come and go. They leave you. Well I can't say anything. I left Sofia. My best friend. && Til this day, I totally regret that. I really do. But mistakes can't ever be fixed. Anywhooo, my dork said he was dissappointed in himself because he couldn't work out because he didn't eat enough and it was hurting his stomach. I kinda felt sad when he said that because I don't know. BUT I couldn't show that of course. Like I said I can't say anything that will make him worry or make him sad. I don't know where I stand in his heart. I really don't anymore but I know how much working out is important to him and it makes him happy so I tried to think of things to help him but what I say, seems to not be working. :/ Daddy called me out to help with the tiles but I decided to stay a bit more because I didn't want to leave Edybear feeling sad. But then daddy got mad and even rang the doorbell and yelled for me so I had to go. The tiles were so heavy, it's not that light. My foot bleeded and i dont know what I stepped on but it hurt so much. && I kept thinking about it so I keep stacking more and more tiles to the cart and me and Jenny pulled it and I basically ran and work unloaded the tiles. I don't think I ever worked that hard and fast. But I didn't want him to wait so I hurried and when I finished I ran in to call him I didn't even have enough time to catch my breath. When he picked up he sounded so sad:/ Was it me? I don't know but he sounded okay after that. Anywho I have to go shower now. He's waiting.(:

That dork

Haha so my dork told me on Saturday before leaving to work, he had left me a voicemail. I wanted to check but   I didn't know how to so yesterday I asked Jenny because she done it for mommy before and somehow she resetted the password for me and I got to hear it haha aw dorky you sounded so nervous haha aww me sabed it so eberyonce in awhile me can hear it.(: <3 Te amo mucho mucho mucho mas punk <3 120209


Ah dumb period is making me grumpy >.< Hurrry up and finish so I can make my plans to go swim with my Edybear. <3

Urgh I feel like this to whoever talks to me right now.

What A Gloomy Day

I woke up with a text from my dork haha that punk <3 Anywho I don't know. He was sad about the Casey Anthony trial, that she had been plead not guilty when she had killed her 3 year old daughter. I didn't know much about the little girl's death so I searched it up and found out some things. It made it seem like the mother was the murderer since all evidence pointed to her but why wasn't she charged? I don't know but it made Edward upset. I didn't know what to say to make him feel better. :/ But then he said he had to go change to go work out at the gym so I left to the living room to watch tv and help Jamie with her division. I was a bit upset about last night because we said we were going to name our turtles but he fell asleep but I don't blame him. I guess me being upset is temporarily, it's going to go away soon so I shouldn't make a big deal out of it. Then around 2 hours later I went to get the phone and saw a text from him that Duke is gone and Animal Control has him. Urgh that old white guy next door called them.  At least Duke gets to come back tomorrow. But I sense Edward is still feeling something. I don't know what though. But then he starts sending me happy text messages. I sense that he's just trying to cover it, I don't know why.

I was upset I guess this whole time. It's because I'm watching this drama and it's really said. It makes me think about life. How little time we have and we don't know when life is going to be taken away from us. I don't know but now I have to grow up and suck it in because when you love someone you don't want to worry them. I have to be a big girl now. For him.<3

Worst 4th Of July Ever

So today is the Fourth of July and it sucks! No fire works or anything, >.<


I'm upset. Why don't the people from my dad's side of the family treat my family as their family? I mean my aunt Huong even took out her friend's daughter who she just met with her daughters to the movies instead of Jackie and Jamie. What the heck? That is sooo messed up plus it's a holiday. Like when we went to their house yesterday it's like our existence is absent. Everyone else in the house matters but us. I even enjoyed talking and playing with this two little boys who aren't even my cousins. Whaaaat? Plus, whatever we do everyone does it and tries to do it better. It's family. Why does everyone try to strive to be better. That's not family if you're always jealous and always competing. I hate this place. I hate all my "family" here. I wish we could move to a place where we know no one, well at least not anyone from my "family." All soo stupid. They just love all the nieces and nephews who are the daughter and son of my aunts. I'm starting to think about my place in the world. If I die would anyone miss me?

Yeah, I'm fine.

• Boy: Babe what's wrong, you okay? :/
• Girl: Yeah, I'm fine.
• Boy: I know you better than that, I'm always going to be here for you. You can trust me, I'm not going to tell anyone I promise. Are you scared to tell me something?
• Girl: Just because I have a pussy doesn't mean I am one babe.
• Boy: Yeah and just because I have a dick, doesn't mean I am one either. I know you are scared to open up towards others. I understand that guys may have fucked you over, took advantage of you, didn't treat you right, and ignored you for all the wrong reasons. But I'M not that guy, it sounds cliche and everything but It's true. I've been through the exact same things as you, you think I haven't felt the same? Girls left me, lied to me, cheated on me, didn't trust me, and told me they aren't into me as much as before. YOU finally show up into my life and make me happy, smile, laugh, just flat out helped me enjoy life. You really think that "Yeah, I'm fine." really means your fine? Come on you think I don't know you that well? I've fallen for you hard enough to know that something's not right. Baby I'm not going to treat you like those other douche bags have, you just have to trust me. We will always have our little arguments here and there but nothing will push me away from you, even if you push me physically I'll always grab you back and never let you go. I will fight for you and be your knight in shinning armor and your umbrella when it rains, you helped me open my eyes to so many things. Why can't you just open yours and see that I'm here and here for a reason, FOR YOU<3
• Girl: <333 :']
• - fucking lucky ass girl I swear.

17 Months

Saturday, July 2, 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vMU7zHR4Wxc&feature=relmfu

in my room alone

i dance to my favorite songs

i look in the mirror like 

i laugh at my own jokes

i cry and get sad

i see amazing post on tumblr

im on the phone with my friends like

and my mom burst in like

If she walks away, follow her.
If she cries, hold her tight and don't say anything.
If she gets mad at you, grab and kiss her. Remind her she means the whole world to you.