October 30th We met

November 24 - First Date

December 2- <33

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Hehe

I guess I am okay now..been happier. But this morning I woke up with this pain in my chest. I miss him SO much like I felt like crying and I don't know why. Hmm I slept with Mr. Beary last night. I imagined it was Edward hehe && noooo that "hehe" did not mean I kissed it! Lol I just slept with it. I wish it was him though.(: But yeah the whole day I was trying to finish al those AP work due Thursday ( Chem) && Friday (APUSH). Finally done with Chem. Grr. && then I was helping mommy wrap wontons hehe the whole time I kept thinking about him. Edward loves Wonton Soup , the spicy kind. As I was wrapping it, I kept asking myself when is Edward going to get to eat the ones I make?

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Tired

So I was heading off to sleep since it's almost 4, but then I decided to reply to him. Then I get a message from him at the same time and I didn't believe it? He shouldn't be up this late? bKA=== I TIRED FINSIH TOMROWOR

Lol that dork. I was tired but I purposely said that I couldn't but that punk won't say anything. >.<

Sunday, June 26, 2011

L.I.F.E

"Have you ever just wanted to scream? Because no one is listening to you. Have you ever just wanted to run away? Because no one understands. Have you ever wanted to hurt yourself? Because no one cares. Have you ever wished something bad would happen to you? Because you want sympathy. Have you ever wished someone would ask you ‘what’s wrong’? Because you need to vent. Have you ever just wanted to lock yourself in your room? Because you need to get away from life. Have you ever just wanted to text that boy/girl that broke your heart? Because you know the old him/her could make you smile in a heart beat just by replying to your text. Have you ever cried and ran to the mirror to make sure it looked like you didn’t? Because your family just wouldn’t understand. It’s okay. Me too."



Saturday, June 25, 2011

A response

He messaged me. I had typed a long paragraph to reply to him but somehow I ended up sending him a sentence, " why are you here?" I want to know what makes him message me at this time. Is it for me or for him? I wanna tell him so bad that I miss him terribly but I don't know how. I want to express all my feelings to him but I can't.


Why? :/

Friday, June 24, 2011

Stupid Creepers.!

Today my mom decided to take us out since it was a Friday. We went to West Oaks then to Walmart. West Oaks was okay. I wanted to buy this headband but it wasn't enough because Jamie wanted a wallet and Jackie wanted this marker holder. Anywho at Walmart, it was weird. There were these two Asian guys that followed me and Mommy and they were oold.! && According to Julie, they kept looking at our butts? :OO Ew. && Then we went to the Men's section cuz Mommy wanted to buy tanks for him && Jenny pointed to the guys underwear section and there were batman boxers haha I was tempted to buy it for Edward lmao xD && Then there was this fat white man who kept looking at Mommy and complimented her lol her reaction was funny. When I was posing for a picture he walked back and watched and he left but came back and when I told Julie to turn around, he ran. It was scary. I hate that.! :/
Thursday, June 23, 2011







Monday, June 20, 2011

Dreams

BLAH </3 I think I saw you in my sleep, dorky. Your face was so, so clear. But I'm scared mine might be fading in yours. It's been so long already. How are you doing? Tell me, how are you doing this? Why do I need you more than you need me? Sigh... I guess now all I can do is look forward to seeing you in my dreams.



Friday, June 17, 2011

One day..

One day you're gonna want that girl, The girl that wasn't perfect but tried to be perfect for you.
The girl that believed the scraps of you she was given were worth it because something was better than nothing. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you and love you the way she knows she only could. The girl who sees your flaws but values them as much as your strengths. That girl who can't bring her self to hate you, even though sometimes you probably deserve it. That girl who saw past your pretty face and treasured parts of you that no one else had ever appreciated. The girl who realizes she may never have your heart but will carry the image of you in hers forever. The girl that sees this and still loves you. The girl who wishes she could have you but doesn't even think she deserves it.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Strangers Again?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSdELZxEnHY


Hehe, I made money today (:


Ah, I watched The Mummy awhile ago, it was scarwy :( I wish he was here to hold me.. Why do I always watch scary movies when I know for sure I will be freaked out by it? I wished I wasn't so curious x.x Ah moms gonna pull the wifi out soon, i'll finish it later.


Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Another lonely night

Smart Julie plugged the wifi back in so now I can use the iPod to type this. Right now it is 4 05 am. I just got done crying. Mommy said some real mean stuff I didn't want to hear at all. It's so gay I don't even wanna write it here. Right now I need him the most. I miss those nights where we would stay up and he would make me feel better every time I cried. But now when Im said I have this feeling all I have left to turn to is air. I miss him but I don't listen to out music or think bout him anymore. It hurts to think about him that's why I try to occupy myself at most as I can. During the day I play it off fine bur during the nights I can't handle it at all. :/ why must I be so attached to him? Why must I make him my first priority when I'm obviously not? Why must I make him my everything because one day if he decides to go all I have left would be nothing. Calling out your name, your face appears everywhere but when I reach out to you I get a sensse of disappointment to find that you're not there. Im so tired I think that's all for now goodnight and sweet dreams.


6 :36 pm - I just saw an article about an 11 year old girl who fell out of a 156 ft high Ferris Wheel. :/ She was awarded to go on a class trip because she had Honor Rolls and now she's gone forever. Life is so unexpected. No matter who you are or what you do, you never know one day where your life just gets taken away from you..That's why you should live everyday to its fullest and treat everyone well because one day you might never know. You can lose them. And..it will be too late.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Nicholas Sparks Books

Yay today I finally finished a Nicholas Sparks Book. ^^ It was a sweet story && of course romantic. But it was sad in the ending. Ben's dad died while trying to save him. I always know that every Nick Sparks books have a sad ending yet I still read it. But everytime I finish a book, I feel all sad and all and I wished Edward was there to hold me. Even in this book too. But yeah. One day we have to read a book together. During school, I checked two of the same books that me and him can read but he had to read a Spanish book and one fro Ms Bell so that's why I didnt bring it up but yeah I wish we can read it one day. ^__^ 120209

Hehe I never told him...when I was reading Dear John, i imagined us and the ending left me crying. A LOT. I dont want that to ever happen to us....anywho this reminds me when we went to the movies and watched it ^^ I rememeber it was full so we stood near the door and he kept kissing me and kissing me. He didn't care who walked in or who was watching. Haha i like that ;D But yeah it felt very romantic even though my neck hurted sooo much. Cuz I'm short lol I had to reach up xD 021410

This is what he wrote in a note he gave me, well it was in the album ^^

"Dear Jennifer =)
      I remember about this. You told me about Dear John and that it was a good book and that you wanted to go see it. So me bought it and read it.=) and si mi amor it was a good book but we're not going to end up like them I pwomise dork. Dear John was so awesome on Valentine's Day si? For me it was. =) I got to hold your hand without worrying if anybody was going to catch us. =) I felt so free mi amor. "


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QvQ29dw7_Wc

Every Love Song Reminds Me Of You <3                                                                                                          
   
‎                  Finally just breaking down in tears because you cant take it anymore

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Mission Accomplished

  If only we could kiss forever                                   He's the one I dream of at night    
This moment would end never                             he is the one who holds me tight
      your lips against mine                                         he's the one who's true to me
      is a dream come true                                            together forever we will be. 
   And all this is happening 
  because i fell in love with you





I look at you and i realize just                                                            i think everyday of what i did to
how much you've been a part of my life                                            
deserve you. No one in this
how special you are and how much you've                                     
 
world could treat me as good
made me happy. i look at you and i realize                                        
as you do. Since Ive met you
that heaven must be missing an angel.                                      
   
i felt like the most special girl <3

I Feel Happy To see You Happy
 



Girls are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten ones from the ground, that aren't as good, but are easy.
So the apples at the top think there's something wrong with them.
But really, they are amazing.
They just have to wait for the right boy to come along.
The one who is brave enough to climb all the way.
To the top of the tree.


Saturday, June 11, 2011

I Guess I Can Call It The Start Of Summer.

We've moved to Houston about 11 years ago. 11 Years Later my dad finally makes his decision to take us to the beach. The only beach I ever went to was the Galveston one with Roger's family & Jenny & Julie but that was a couple years back. The one we went to today was called Surfside Beach. It took like an hour and thirty minutes to get there but we needed more time because daddy got lost. :OO Anywhoo we got there around 9 45ish. The beach was alright. There were a total of 12 kids, including me being the oldest. So when we got in the water, mommy starting yelling shark, shark! At first, I thought she was trying to scare us but when I looked I saw two fins in the water. I forgot how I felt. I wasn't scared lol it was more of an exciting feeling.(: But yeah it was soooo COOOOL! x) Every one left the water for awhile til the coast was clear. So we went up to eat and this cute little boy asked if he could get me a drink and he bought me back juice haha soo adorable. His name was Calvin, the one that always had a booger in his nose lol ew >.< Then mostly I just played with the little kids and watched over the youngest, and smallest one, Anthony. I enjoyed the wave a lot. The whole time I thought about Edward. I wished it was just me && him there. That's always been a wish of mine: To spend a day at the beach with him. We would run around chasing each other, go swim together, build our castle for the King && Queen but for now it's the Pwince && Pwincess. (: Then when the sun sets, just sit there, arm in arm, hand in hand, holding each other, sitting in the sweet silence. <33.......

After awhile, I just isolated myself from everyone & found a place on the beach. I just kept writing his name, my name, our names, and I LOVE YOU on the sand..&& I found some really pretty seashells so I can finally make that picture frame for Edward.(: I was going to last year but my aunt threw the cup away but it's okay I found some better ones afterall he deserves the best. Argh I got a pretty bad sunburn everywhere. reminds me of the Japanese Fest when me and him both got sunburns haha x) wow I'm like two different colors, its gross. >.< my thighs are like white and the rest of my leg is dark. time to go get a tan in the backyard in my underwear haha jk :PP well time to go rest and find that glitter ive been hunting down for the picture frame...i hope he likes it.



Wait..When I was looking for the glitter, I found the box of notes he had written for me. When I opened and read each one of them, I bursted into tears so i had to go to the restroom and lock the door so no one will see me..hmm </3 i can't take it anymore.. 120209

Friday, June 10, 2011

Mhmmm.

Another day...Today was an okay day. I went to the doctors for a yearly check up. When they weighed me, I lost a couple pounds. That's something good haha since it's summer.(: Then I met this doctor in training. She was very nice and open. She asked me about college and told me things I had no idea about. x)  I can't wait to be where she's at. I can't wait to treat kids and help them feel allll bwetter. Haha I didn't need any shots today. *YAY* But the other four did ;P After that we went to the library and I was just looking at the places me and Edward walked to when he came to visit me at the library. Good times. <3 Hm, oh how I miss him.......
After that we went to HEB to buy food for tomorrow. As I was pushing the cart, this adorable Mexican boy, around three years of age, screamed wait to me haha aw and like I started to play with him & he would laugh so much. Then I started to hide from him & he kept trying to look for me haha (: (: && Yeah I'll add more details when I can. (: 120209

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Sigh

It's been exactly a week since we haven't talked. My day was alright. I stayed up til like 6 am talking to Adrian. Lol I like to talk to him because then I can stay up and watch the sunrise. But like I guess was still too early so after hanging up, I decided to wait til 7 but then I fell asleep. -____- Anywho then the kids came to Jackie's get-together-tennis party. && around 4 30 Kyra came to the tennis court with Julie & Vivie to go swim. Lol the lifeguard only let me in because I was old enough so then we had to wait for mommy to come. Urgh she came 2 hours later and we had a nice swim. When I was walking to the pool by myself, these Mexican guys un their cars slowed down and said "Hola Baby." Haha weeeird. I wished it was Edward. I wished Edward was at the pool. Urgh. :/  I miss him terribly that I can't even put the right words down. It's all in my heart. 120209


Ah we're on BING. http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=jennifer+villatoro&go=&qs=n&sk=&sc=2-18&form=QBIR

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Sweet Dreams

These past three days, I haven't seen Edward in my dreams. I keep dreaming of people I know at random moments. Like Sarah playing tennis with Zubair? Or Eros telling me about his gf? && faces from the past. Last night, I dreamt I was at my orchestra concert. Mr. Jiang, my teacher was there. Except he had weird hair >.< Anywho there was this little kid who stuck out the most. He was Jackie's classmate and his name was Timothy. Somehow I had switched violin cases with him and I went to get it back. In his case he had some note that it written, " I gotta accept that I am not good at social contact." Something like that. In the dream I felt like helping him out. I wanted to tell him not to worry about it. If people do want to talk to you, they will come to you. I guess the dream was telling me to not worry about it. I mean I shouldn't. A lot of people have helped me by including me in the conversations, he said it's my fault. :/ Hmm Whatever ..as long as it doesnt happen between me and him,  im fine. <33 120209




I wanna spend my life with you. Just you. And nobody else. But you.
                                      I never want You to go.
Look into my eyes you'll find me . Look into my heart and you'll find you.

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Revisiting Omgpop

 

What Is Love?






I had totally forgotten about this. Today, something told me to just get back on && I was going through old messages and wallposts and all. Then went I went to the questions page, this is what I saw. Hehe my dork replied to all the questions I had posted. I love the one where he said he wants me for xmas and his definition of love. Brings a big, big, big, big OMG BIG dorky smile to my face. I love you, Edward Villatoro! <3120209



A Real Relationship :
Has fights. Has trust. Has faith. Has tears. Has hurt. Has sweet smiles. Has genuine laughter. Has weird, stupid, unnecessary arguments. Has patience. Hascommunication. Has secrets. Has jealousy. And most importantly, love. This is all just a mess that turns out beautiful & an experience that can never be forgotten.


I
got this from Rambo's Tumblr. Makes so much sense.

One day, the tables will turn. And instead, it will be you missing me. It will be you, checking my Facebook and Tumblr, because ‘maybe’ I’ll write something about you. It will be you, wishing you could talk to me. It will be you reminiscing about the memories. One day, you will miss me like I missed you. But by then,
It will be too late....

Monday, June 6, 2011

No Title

I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in..

I don't know why I always wake up super hungry.. but when I eat, nothing tastes good. It's all tasteless to me. Having time without him, I realized even more that me && him are total opposites. I'm the shortest in class while he's the tallest// He's athletic while I get hit in the face while attempting to play// The type of music we listen to the most// The type of friends we hang out with// He wants a girl first while I want a boy// He wants a girl first so she can have the chance to get back at the brother// I want a boy so he can protect his little sister from all the bad guys.// There's lots more lololololol

Despite all our differences we still love each other. <3 <3 <3

But why do we have these fights all the time? I guess the reason is that we re both stubborn and won't put our armor down. But if he tells me he rather love than fight I would give it <3 I have a feeling these fights won't ever be avoided. Somehow I get a feeling that even while I am in labor (however you spell it) we would be fighting or something. Lol its funny to think about that but I hope it doesnt come true. When we have our first born I want him there, holding my hand and getting thru it with me <3 :) 120209




Sunday, June 5, 2011

It Took So Long To Find This

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0FcvwvwUudc&feature=related

I remember the days we spent together
were not enough
and it used to feel like dreamin'
except we always woke up
Never thought not having you
here now would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
and know the stars are
holdin' you, holdin' you, holdin' you tonight

I remember the time you told me about when you were eight
And all those things you said that night that just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
and the games we would play
All the times we spilled our coffees
and stayed out way too late
I remember the time you told me about your Jesus
and how not to look back even if no one believes us
When it hurt so bad sometimes
not having you here...

Haha I remember having a big dorky smile when he showed me this.(: This road that we walk on is very hard Edward but as long as we both hang on tight, nothing is impossible for us.

Don't ever let love wait....it could be too late. 120209

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Days Pass So Quick

Wow it's already 4. I haven't done anything this whole day besides eating, and cleaning. I really do miss him. I wonder if he misses me. Yesterday at the mall && the swimming pool I saw a lot of Mexican guys. But none of them were Edward. No one can compare with my dork. He's one of a kind & I don't think anyone could replace this dork. <3  I wish one day he would just surprise me out of no where && hug me and hold me close && say, "Jennifer, I can't take it anymore. Let's end this break." && Then just kiss me and kiss me in front of everyone.

9 39 pm : Dieeeeeee! I feeel like dying. Why is he on my mind so much? Nothing I do can stop me from thinking of him. :/ I feel like crying but I can't. I'm looking at Hanh's pictures and feeling a bit jealous cuz she got to spend time with her boo at the beach. I wish I can see him. I wish we can start going out.

Things I want to do : Watch chick flicks with him, kiss him in the rain, go on long walks, laugh until I'm out of air, talk on the phone until sunrise, build a fort, have a pillow fight, sit on the couch in front of the fireplace and just talk about our life, sneak out to look at the stars with him. To love him endlessly. <3 120209

Friday, June 3, 2011

Why does Taylor Swift Always Know How I Feel?

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us,
How we met and the sparks flew instantly,
People would say they're the lucky ones.
I used to know my place was a spot next to you,
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat,
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on.
Oh, a simple complication,
Miscommunications lead to fall-out.
So many things that I wished you knew,
So many walls that I can't break through.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room and we're not speaking,
And I'm dying to know is it killing you like it's killing me, yeah?
I don't know what to say, since the twist of fate when it all broke down,
And the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now.
How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes and trying to look busy,
And you're doing your best to avoid me.
I started to think one day I'd tell the story of us,
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here,
But you held your pride like you should've held me.

Oh, I'm scared to see the ending,
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how,
I've never heard silence quite this loud.
This is looking like a contest,
Of who can act like the careless,
But I liked it better when you were on my side.
The battle's in your hands now,
But I would lay my armor down
If you said you'd rather love than fight.
So many things that you wished I knew,
But the story of us might be ending soon.

For us, I believe, there won't ever be an ending. <3 Our love will just keep on growing. 120209







Thursday, June 2, 2011

First Day Of The "Break"

So it happened today. The start of the break. I don't know what I'm feeling now. Somehow I don't feel anything. Just a bit sad I guess. I wonder how's he doing. Bad or good? I wonder what's he doing. Maybe basketball or working out? I wonder if it's killing him like its killing me. Maybe? Who knows. Who knows. When will all this last? Good question. What sucks is that so much time will be wasted. Who knows how much time. All I can do right now is to just make my summer. Without him. Let's see how far I can go.

&& I didn't forget dorky, Happy Anniversary <3 120209

10 08 : I had my phone off the whole day after we said bye. I just went to check if he had texted or something and when I saw that i had a message, my heart beated so fast. Could it be him? What if its him?!? Haha it was just Adrian x.x

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

June 1st 2011

Right now I don't know where to start. Maybe with what had happened today. I didn't mean to hurt him or make him feel bad, I just wanted to let my feelings out because I know he will be there to listen. Maybe it was my word choice or whatever but it did not turn out the way I had thought. Of course he still makes me happy, but there are just moments where he can just crush my world with just one word. That really hurts. Plus he is being less dorky. Where's the creator of dorkiness? Back then he would be so excited to read my notes that was written for him. Now that notebook/journal is laying where ever being half read. :/ I guess our love has been less interesting. What sucks is whenever I get a note from him, the first thing I do is find a place where I can just read it. Sometimes I even read it while on my way to where ever. It brings me lots of smiles but lately I haven't been receiving any. I know he is taking me for granted, but what else can I do? I told him and he knows but he is not doing anything to fix our relationship. I'm tired of him saying oh we ll save this for another time. Just like summer. Over the year we just said ooh we ll have summer, we ll have summer and the situation ends. But summer is here and we acted like we have never said that. This can't go on. I want to be with him but there has to be changes. There has to be changes. All I ever asked was for you to be there for me, to love me and cherish me but then you tell me you don't know if you can do that. Did I give out too much? No, I always feel that it is never enough when it comes to loving you. I don't know where you are right now but I just wish and hope you will realize my point and come to understand it. & hopefully change it. <3

Amer, who is this Amer? He is just a friend of mine. Throughout the year, I might have spoken to him once or twice? Even I don't know him well so why is Edward deciding that Amer will make me happy? I don't want Amer. He is a FRIEND. Edward is my BOYFRIEND. I just want Edward. Why won't he listen to me? No one could ever make me as happy as Edward Villatoro <3 My dork 120209 I only want you baby forever && always. I want everything to become a reality. Let's run away and start our life already .. <3