Right now I don't know where to start. Maybe with what had happened today. I didn't mean to hurt him or make him feel bad, I just wanted to let my feelings out because I know he will be there to listen. Maybe it was my word choice or whatever but it did not turn out the way I had thought. Of course he still makes me happy, but there are just moments where he can just crush my world with just one word. That really hurts. Plus he is being less dorky. Where's the creator of dorkiness? Back then he would be so excited to read my notes that was written for him. Now that notebook/journal is laying where ever being half read. :/ I guess our love has been less interesting. What sucks is whenever I get a note from him, the first thing I do is find a place where I can just read it. Sometimes I even read it while on my way to where ever. It brings me lots of smiles but lately I haven't been receiving any. I know he is taking me for granted, but what else can I do? I told him and he knows but he is not doing anything to fix our relationship. I'm tired of him saying oh we ll save this for another time. Just like summer. Over the year we just said ooh we ll have summer, we ll have summer and the situation ends. But summer is here and we acted like we have never said that. This can't go on. I want to be with him but there has to be changes. There has to be changes. All I ever asked was for you to be there for me, to love me and cherish me but then you tell me you don't know if you can do that. Did I give out too much? No, I always feel that it is never enough when it comes to loving you. I don't know where you are right now but I just wish and hope you will realize my point and come to understand it. & hopefully change it. <3
Amer, who is this Amer? He is just a friend of mine. Throughout the year, I might have spoken to him once or twice? Even I don't know him well so why is Edward deciding that Amer will make me happy? I don't want Amer. He is a FRIEND. Edward is my BOYFRIEND. I just want Edward. Why won't he listen to me? No one could ever make me as happy as Edward Villatoro <3 My dork 120209 I only want you baby forever && always. I want everything to become a reality. Let's run away and start our life already .. <3
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